so I have to write this extra fast. The Lord has allowed an opportunity for me to stay in Branson, MO at Kamp from now until August. I will be working all summer serving Him by pouring into younger girls. I am so excited. I want you to know that it's something that will be very hard and may not exactly be my first choice. However, I believe He is leading me to stay. It's not about me and what I want to do. I have a best friend moving to Hong Kong in July and I won't get to see her at all before she leaves now. If I had it my way, I would come home and spend time with friends who I won't get to see much during the year. But, I am dead to myself and alive to Christ and what He leads me to do. So, even in this hard decision, I am following my shepherd's voice to stay and serve others. It's not about me. My life is sold to Jesus. He died for me, I live for Him. I know some of you are a bit down that I won't be around the lake, town, or home but I promise you that He is using me to further His kingdom here and I hope we would all agree that that is WAY more important. Your prayers are so much appreciated but I have something else. If you write me, I promise I will be encouraged and so excited!! Mail is the one thing at Kamp that lights us all up!! Here's my address
967 Lake Shore Drive, Branson, Missouri 65616
Prayers and letters and I think we can do it!! 3 months is a long time!! can't wait!!!
Oh, I have no phone or internet until my time off which I don't know when that is. When I do, I will update!! LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!! wORd!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Hello my long lost readers.
I wanted to take a quick minute to reassure you I am alive. I know you were all wondering so I wanted to make it clear. :) I have been in Branson, MO since May 19. It has been so much fun!! We got here with about 25 people the first few days to do boat training. I love big small groups where you can meet alot of people but be intimate. On the 21, the rest of the counselors arrived numbering in around 200. I have met some amazing people from all around the world. I have also met and interacted with many people from Auburn. The Kamp is so creative and wonderful. I love the leadership and have really enjoyed being poured into by others. I am learning so much but having such a great time. I am definitely in my element here at Kanakuk. The Lord has blessed me with a heart to serve the younger generation and enjoy life on a regular basis. You won't be surprised to know I have been in almost every skit and known as the crazy girl. It's something about my shy and intimidating personality. haha yeah right. If there's anywhere that I just flourish, it's at kamp with many amazing people and eventually kids. The kids will arrive June 1. Be praying for a very very crazy day. I am so thankful for the Lord placing me here this summer and opening some great relationships. He is so faithful and so awesome to get to know. I love knowing Him more each and every day. I will tell you one thing I have learned. When I don't spend enough time with Him, there's not enough of me to go around. However, the more I pursue and spend time with Him, the more He blesses me with energy, life, and joy. I really keep falling more in love with Jesus and I can't tell you how sweet it is. Get you some of that...
miss and love yall!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
I saw myself today at Creekside Pool:
I saw myself today in a girl finding her identity in impressing others with a mouth full of profanity and self-glory.
I saw myself today in a girl feeling rejected as her man of last night was chasing after another girl with smaller thighs and a flatter stomach.
I saw myself today throwing my reputation down the solo cup as I tossed another ping pong ball that landed off the table.
I saw myself today putting my strength and value in how well I could flirt, talk, and impress the cutest group of guys in the corner.
I saw myself today as a failure in a guy whose Dad called on his Iphone to speak about business since I just failed two classes at school.
I saw myself today in control as I walked up with the supply of drinks for the entire crowd.
I saw myself today embarrassed because I couldn't afford to go out for the third time this week.
I saw myself today glorifying who I am for the humorous activities I bragged about not remembering last night.
I saw myself today ignored by the other girls who have the right sunglasses, suits, and flip flops.
I saw myself today taken for granted as I am bossed to get another, do this, and quit being like this.
I saw myself today having enough of what the world can offer and digging into something so much more reliable, eternal, and more significant.
I saw myself today thankful for a Savior who can meet every need I have ever longed for in others and myself.
I saw myself today finding hope in an ultimate plan that includes my small vapor of a life.
I saw myself today seeking assurance in a Heavenly Kingdom where no one can steal my joy.
I saw myself today accepting love, compassion, worth, security, and identity in the One who is perfect in every way.
I saw myself today being edified by people I am blessed with who truly care about my heart, my soul, and my life.
I saw myself today incredibly thankful for an undeserving mercy and grace that is renewing me each and every minute of the day.
I saw myself today broken and hurting for others because I know that feeling of rejection, failure, weakness, embarrassment, pain, and abandonment.
I saw myself today not boasting in what I have found or I have achieved but what I have been given so undeservedly by the cross.
I saw myself today being stripped and broken so that I may know more of Him and bring glory to Who He is in me.
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of this air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of you also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US, God, who is rich in mercy, made us ALIVE with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by GRACE you have been SAVED." -Eph. 2:1-5
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I wanted to write and update you on what my summer will look like. I am finished with finals, in Montgomery for a few days, and then back to Auburn. I am going to a Coldplay concert on Sunday so I am super excited about that!! May 19-June 1 I will be in Branson, MO training for KKountry Kanakuk Kamp. From June to July 1, I will be in Auburn volunteering teaching English to foreign elementary students from 9-12 each day of the week. July 5- August 12 I will be a kamp counselor at KKountry. Kanakuk kamps are very popular. Blair worked at KAA which is another Kanakuk kamp. I will have 7-11 year old girls in my cabins. I am very excited about my fun filled summer and hope you all have a great one too!! Here's my address for when I am at Kamp if you want to write or send me anything!! :)
967 Lake Shore Drive, Branson, Missouri 65616
Sunday, May 10, 2009
My car would die during the season at church on Treasure. It's funny because the other day my friend Malorie and I were discussing her story of a dropped iphone. A friend dropped her iphone on accident and I asked what her response was. She explained how there's no real reason to get too upset especially because her phone still works and the screen is still okay so the indention on the left corner is the only real damage. As I think back over the semester, I can think of 2 more friends who have had their Iphones dropped. I have seen their reactions and questioned my own. It's funny how the Lord will teach us things in perfect timing. Right when I am telling people how it's just a phone and what's the real value when it stays on Earth in the end anyways, my car of 6 years finally came to a stop. My car was towed this morning from Auburn and will be fixed and sold for good. Too many times have we tried to fix the old bird and it's just time to say good bye. My parents have decided to give me my older sisters car who is gone on a mission trip until December. When she returns, she will receive a new car. Hm, yea, it hit me funny at first as well. This is my sisters second car already and she is the one who will get a new one. However, she also finished college which was my dad's deal for new cars. I realized the very first feeling for me was jealousy, then anger and unsatisfaction. The Lord spoke to me to capture those thoughts of flesh and dig deep in to the real treasures in life-those of eternal value. Matthew 13:44 came to mind as I realized that my treasure for a few moments was in my car. Therefore, my heart responded in feelings that are not from Him or of Him. When my treasure is of eternal matters, there my heart is as well. We all know that it would clearly be impossible to bury me and my car in a coffin. It's true, my car will not be leaving this Earth with me. ONLY HE REMAINS. It's not wise to invest time, money, and ourselves into people, places, or things of this world. The only investment now is gaining more of Him. Ecclesiastes 5:10 shares that when we love money or worldly items, we are NEVER satisfied. Don't you know that feeling? Jim Elliot wrote, "He is no fool who gives what He cannot keep to gain what He cannot lose." So read Matthew 6 and see what the Lord would speak to your heart about your Earthy treasures. When an iphone and a car can't be thought about to live without, think about the eternal value in that. I am not saying those things are bad, but don't place heavenly value on them because you will never be satisfied. Be satisfied in HIM alone. Pursue the gifts that will last in Eternity! There's no better time than now to realize where you place your value in life.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
With such an emotional and draining week under my belt, I am sitting here just in need to type and let it out. The weekend consisted of my roommate coming home from Italy, my attempts to study for finals, birthday party, and absolutely NO sleep. Remember these days? Also, you would think I would be overjoyed with finals over and Summer at my feet, but I am not. I could strangely enough do another month of school to keep my community and friends around me. The hardest thing right now is starting the good byes and sending many people out of Auburn for good. With a roommate in New Zealand, sister in Asia somewhere, other roommate was in Italy, best friend in Wetumpka, etc. the Lord is really testing and shaping me in these times. It's cool to see His work in me start to be lived out. My roomie in N.Z., who happens to be one of my closest friends, has been used by the Lord to teach me such a valuable lesson. She and I weren't close in the first part of the Fall but grew to be best friends by the time she left. I still talk to her weekly and know about her life, her walk, and her growth. The Lord has strengthened our friendship in ways I didn't know were possible. I have been so encouraged by what she is doing and learning and becoming. He is consuming her EVERYTHING right now and it's a blessing to stand by and watch. I haven't seen her since we set her off in Feb.
Here is what the Lord's teaching me:
I fully trust that He will allow my friendships that are meant to stay close and similar in structure, the same. I trust His provision. I will not stay close and in touch with everyone. As much as I want that, it's just not always His plan. I am convinced in that, that He is producing the good through those faded relationships. Example: I would not be the woman I am today if I had stayed close to some people that I would have chosen. He is way better at choosing my future and my relationships. Simultaneously, I have seen Him be faithful in the friendships that He has set consistent. I am still close with many of my friends from other seasons of life. All that blabber to say that He is sovereign and I will trust HIM.
I trust Him with my relationships.
I trust Him with the future friendships in Auburn.
I trust Him with the lives of the people I love.
I trust His provision.
I trust what He would have.
I trust that I will stay connected to those planned in advance for me to and see the good in ALL things and change from here on out.
I trust He is not finished with me yet in Auburn.
I trust He will answer many friends' questions and path directions.
I trust His word. In HIs word, all of these things are revealed.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
It's tempting to keep them all to myself, but I decided to share some of the most amazing people with you...
Jesus, you have blessed me with the most amazing community and friendships. May we continue to recognize all good things are from you. To the One who taught us the true meaning of friendship, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (Jn. 15:13)," ALL GLORY and PRAISE to You, Jesus.