Still Learning Day by Day...

It's been a long time since I've blogged mainly because I am so incredibly busy. However, I want to take a minute and really, record a revelation the Lord has blessed me with today. To give you a bit of a background, I have really struggled this semester with trying to understand how we have a Holy Spirit in us yet sometimes choose a life of sin. Many of you know about the situation from Kamp and then even an experience from a friend in my life that just lead to a wrestle for me with the issue of salvation and if the Spirit really resides in people who live such a completely different lifestyle than what the Lord instructs us to. I am not questioning any particular person's salvation but to be in a Social Work career, I feel it very necessary to discern what exactly a life with the Spirit looks like. I have been hurt by lies, manipulation, and disadvantages over me mainly because I believe the truth people speak about themselves but even more so, the Lord. Why wouldn't we want to believe what is said to be true? So, I wrestle with this not because I think one sin is bigger or worse than another, not because I want to know who is really saved or not, not because I want to look better or think of myself better, but because I feel it is essential for my career and lifestyle as a believer.

Today I read the story of Ananias and Sapphira that can be found in Acts 5. After the Lord ascended into Heaven, the Holy Spirit came down and filled not only the place, but the people who resided in the room (Acts 4:31). The believers began to share everything they had with one another. However, Ananias and his wife gave only a portion of the money they received from a piece of property they sold. "Then Peter said, 'Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God." At these words, Ananias fell dead. Then his wife was questioned and caught in a lie. Peter said to her, 'How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord?"

This is what I took from this: Believers (those who have confessed and believed in Christ and been filled with the Holy Spirit) can lie to the Spirit, essentially to God, and live a life of hidden (from men) sin. But, I see the results here to be serious. Also, in 2 Peter 2:20-21: "If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them."

It is true that we are sealed with Him (the Holy Spirit in us) till the day of repentance. Yet, we are not to grieve the Spirit. The Spirit is grieved when there is a breach in relationship to either God or people. Sin pains the Holy Spirit. (see Eph. 4:25-32)

This may have made no sense to you but it reveals a new perspective for me to look at when it comes to sin and the Holy Spirit. Above it all, it brings me to seriously ask myself this question:

How important is it then to care more about the Spirit's grief than my own? I am praying for that to really sink in for me. I know that many people have different opinions on this subject but I just wanted to journal out my thoughts. I want to be sensitive to the fact that I cannot and will never be able to completely understand the Holy Spirit or the lives of others.